Thursday, January 12, 2012

366 Days of Gratefulness ~ Day 11

I have replayed the day over and over in my head several times.  Some days being grateful is hard.  Yesterday was one of those days that at every turn there were blinking neon lights drawing my attention to the hard things.  It was an emotional draining day, and by the end of the day I was in no mood to write a post about being grateful.  Because honestly, I really wasn't.  I tried to find something I was grateful for, but I couldn't get my mind of upsetting news I had gotten about someone I love.  I couldn't stop thinking about a friend who is hurting, and how I am so angry with someone.  So I let it all fester ... all night long.

I didn't do what I said I was going to do.  I wasn't intentional about focusing on the blessings I have rather than the things that are upsetting and heartbreaking.  I have a lot to be thankful for.  I have a house to live in and food to eat.  I have a husband that loves me.  My daughters are healthy and thriving.  I am surrounded by people who love me.  I really could go on, but instead I gave all my attention and energy to things I can't do anything to fix.  I should have just left it with Jesus.

I got an email from Mary this morning, and she was sharing a quote she had read in a friend's Facebook status.  Somehow I actually had overlooked this friend's status when I had surfed through Facebook early this morning.  Probably because my heart wasn't ready to hear it.  Maybe I did read it, and it just didn't stick with me at the time.  When I read it in Mary's email it hit me in the gut, and I heard it loud and clear.  My eyes were opened wide to what I had actually missed that I had to be grateful for yesterday.

"Yet, it is kindness when He strips us of self-reliance, because it is there, in our emptiness and brokenness, that we experience the privilege of His sustaining grace. It is only at that dreaded place of weakness, that we discover the surpassing power of Christ," Give Them Grace, Fitzpatrick & Thompson.

"... His sustaining grace ... "

How did I miss that?  How could I not see that all through yesterday and all through the night I was experiencing His sustaining grace?

Because I took my eyes off of Jesus.

Just like Peter, I took my eyes off of Jesus and I began to sink.  I began sink right back in to the very cycle I am trying to break.  My "woe is me" attitude was coming back, and I was just about ready to jump back into the mud and start wallowing.

Thank you, Lord, for protecting me from that happening.  I truly am grateful for your sustaining grace and for forgiving me when I take my eyes off of you.  Thank you for catching me when I start to fall.

I am grateful the Lord laid it upon Carol's heart to share that quote.  I am grateful He brought Mary's attention to it, and He laid it upon her heart to share it with me.  I am grateful that after I didn't see it the first time around, He prepared my heart to hear it in Mary's email.

Most of all, I am grateful for His sustaining grace and for His forgiveness when I take my eyes off of Him.

1 comment:

  1. I can certainly relate to the struggle of keeping my eyes on Jesus! He is and has been my sustaining grace through it all, yet I so often fall back into "the mud" (as you put it so well) of old habits. Thanks for sharing your heart, Robin...for an audience of One...and to uplift others!