Saturday, October 27, 2012

Today I Celebrate My Friend

She's one of my best friends, and today is her birthday.  Her 40th birthday.  We've been friends for 30 years ... since we were in 5th grade.  I thought I would celebrate her today by explaining why I love her beyond any combination of words I could put together.  I've tried writing this post for the past two days.  Each and every time I have had to delete it because I am finding it very difficult to find the words to adequately explain what a beautiful person she is.  A beauty that comes from the depths of her heart.

She is truly one of the most loving, selfless people I know.  Sometimes to her own detriment.  She cannot say no to anyone in need of something and often finds herself pushed beyond her limits.  And she does it out of love for others.  A want to help.  A want for others to be full of joy and not hurting.

She has always been there for me.  Even during the times she couldn't physically be with me, she's there.  Calling, texting, emailing me.  Just to remind me she loves me and is praying for me.

And when Robyn tells you she is praying for you, she is praying.  Those aren't just words that fly off her tongue because it seems to be the appropriate thing to say.  If she says she's going to pray, you can rest assured she's carrying you to Jesus.

She loves Jesus passionately.

Thirty years of memories can't be summed up in just a few paragraphs.  We've have laughed to the point of hurting stomachs and tears, and we've held each other through hurting hearts and tear stained cheeks.  She always wants what's best for me.  She has celebrated the greatest events in my life with me, and hurt with me though the darkest moments in my life.  Her love has been unconditional, and yet at the same time, because she loves me, she talks straight to me.  I always get the truth.  Like it or not.

She has held my secrets close to her heart, and she has trusted me with hers.  I am honored she calls me one of her best friends, and she feels safe enough to pour her heart out to me.

I love watching her finally being able to be a mother to three of the sweetest boys.  It brings me to tears every time I think about the years and years of heartache she endured, and how God blessed her with three miracles.  Three blessings she doesn't take for grant it.

I love her.  I adore her.  She is one my dearest, closest friends.  She is one of the few in my closest circle of trust.  The few I can count on one hand.

She is an enormous blessing to me.

I treasure her.

She is my sister.

And my forever friend.

Happy 40th birthday, Robyn.  You are one of the greatest gifts the Lord Jesus has ever given me.  Today I am thanking Him for you.  I don't know what I would do without you.  Thank you for loving me even when I'm unlovable.  For being a faithful friend.  For not being my judge, and for always carrying me to our Redeemer.  Love you, and praying you are blessed today as much as your bless everyone around you.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Time Doesn't Heal

I have often wondered if the person who originally said, "Time heals all wounds" was ever truly wounded.  Surely they were.  I don't think anyone gets through life without being wounded, but their declaration that time is a healer is so wrong.  It's nothing but a cliche'.  A default to say to someone who is hurting.

Time heals nothing.

Jesus does.  And I learn more and more every day He takes His own sweet time doing so.

I was reminded in our pastor's sermon today sanctification is a process of pruning to make us more like Jesus.

I hate the process.

Sitting on my Mom's carport waiting for the paramedics to bring her body out of her house, I kept reminding myself that my Jesus is the same in that moment as He the moment before my dad called to tell me she had died.  Over and over I kept saying to myself, "He still the same."

I needed to remind myself of that very truth.  I had just spent a beautiful Spring day with ladies from my bible study group.  On the drive home while I was sipping on my lemon slush from Sonic, I laughed and chatted with my friends.  I distinctly remember looking at the blooming Dogwood and Redbud trees and thinking about how faithful God is.  My mind wandered to how grateful I was Jesus loved me and how everything that happens in my life was all for my good and His glory.

Thank you, Jesus, for loving me.  Thank you for never letting anything happen in my life that doesn't first pass through Your hands.

Those words fluttered through my heart as we passed by miles of Dogwood and Redbud trees.

I had no idea within the next hour my life was about to change forever.

I had a friend ask me just this week if I still believed my Jesus was the same.


Seven months later I still believe it.  I actually believe it more today.  I was pretty solid on it back then, and today I'm even more firm in my belief.

Seven months later He hasn't changed.  Not even once.  He hasn't let go of me.  Even in those moments I've tried to run from Him, His grip holds me close.

I have had to remind myself hundreds of times throughout the past seven months that my God never changes.  He is faithful.  He is sovereign.  He causes all things ... even the things that cause my heart to bleed ... to work for my good and His glory.

Even the sudden death of my Mama.

But it still hurts.  My heart is still raw and the tears still flow easily and frequently.  Time hasn't healed my broken heart.

But God.

But God has been and will continue to be my Comforter.  He will hold me close and not let me go.

It's a gorgeous Fall day today.  Perfect weather.  While visiting the cemetery after church this morning, He reminded me once again He is faithful.

This time instead of blooming Dogwood and Redbud trees, it was this ...

Even with the changes of the seasons, He is still the same Jesus.  The one who loves me and will never leave me.

And one day, in His precious time, He will be the One to heal my heart.

In the meantime, I am grateful His mercies are new every morning.