Sunday, October 21, 2012

Time Doesn't Heal

I have often wondered if the person who originally said, "Time heals all wounds" was ever truly wounded.  Surely they were.  I don't think anyone gets through life without being wounded, but their declaration that time is a healer is so wrong.  It's nothing but a cliche'.  A default to say to someone who is hurting.

Time heals nothing.

Jesus does.  And I learn more and more every day He takes His own sweet time doing so.

I was reminded in our pastor's sermon today sanctification is a process of pruning to make us more like Jesus.

I hate the process.

Sitting on my Mom's carport waiting for the paramedics to bring her body out of her house, I kept reminding myself that my Jesus is the same in that moment as He the moment before my dad called to tell me she had died.  Over and over I kept saying to myself, "He still the same."

I needed to remind myself of that very truth.  I had just spent a beautiful Spring day with ladies from my bible study group.  On the drive home while I was sipping on my lemon slush from Sonic, I laughed and chatted with my friends.  I distinctly remember looking at the blooming Dogwood and Redbud trees and thinking about how faithful God is.  My mind wandered to how grateful I was Jesus loved me and how everything that happens in my life was all for my good and His glory.

Thank you, Jesus, for loving me.  Thank you for never letting anything happen in my life that doesn't first pass through Your hands.

Those words fluttered through my heart as we passed by miles of Dogwood and Redbud trees.

I had no idea within the next hour my life was about to change forever.

I had a friend ask me just this week if I still believed my Jesus was the same.


Seven months later I still believe it.  I actually believe it more today.  I was pretty solid on it back then, and today I'm even more firm in my belief.

Seven months later He hasn't changed.  Not even once.  He hasn't let go of me.  Even in those moments I've tried to run from Him, His grip holds me close.

I have had to remind myself hundreds of times throughout the past seven months that my God never changes.  He is faithful.  He is sovereign.  He causes all things ... even the things that cause my heart to bleed ... to work for my good and His glory.

Even the sudden death of my Mama.

But it still hurts.  My heart is still raw and the tears still flow easily and frequently.  Time hasn't healed my broken heart.

But God.

But God has been and will continue to be my Comforter.  He will hold me close and not let me go.

It's a gorgeous Fall day today.  Perfect weather.  While visiting the cemetery after church this morning, He reminded me once again He is faithful.

This time instead of blooming Dogwood and Redbud trees, it was this ...

Even with the changes of the seasons, He is still the same Jesus.  The one who loves me and will never leave me.

And one day, in His precious time, He will be the One to heal my heart.

In the meantime, I am grateful His mercies are new every morning.

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