Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Swift Kick in the Rear

I had literally just hit "publish" after writing my post yesterday, and had not even had time to close my computer yet, when the phone rang.

"Hey, Robin!", he said in his cheerful phone voice.  "This is Caleb.  How are you doing?"

Here's the thing about Caleb, you don't have to pretend.  I didn't have to hesitate and wonder how am I going to answer his question so he won't think horrible of me.  I didn't have to pretend to be all "holy" in my suffering just because he is my pastor.  I can just say it like it is and not have to "pretty it up".

"I'm not okay ... I'm in a terrible mood ... Have you ever read the book "Alexander and The Terrible, Horrible, No Good Day?" ... well, that's where I am at."

"I was just thinking about you and wondering how you were doing.  I just want to remind you that He loves you and that He hasn't forgotten about you ... and He is sovereign..."

"Well, I'm glad you called, Caleb.  Maybe next time I'll be in a better mood."

"That's okay ..."

He meant that.  It was perfectly okay with him that I was in a terrible mood.  I didn't have to pretend.  He didn't want me to even.  I could just be real, and the reality was I was in a terrible mood.  I was angry, sad and having an all out self-pity bash.

"... He hasn't forgotten about you ..."

I had no idea I even needed to hear those words until he said them.  I know He doesn't forget about us.  In my heart, I am well aware of that truth, but sometimes my head needs to be reminded.  I have friends that would say I need to be reminded over and over again ... and then again.

I have a friend who has said to me ... I'm not kidding ... thousands of times, "You're feelings will betray you, Robin."  They are not reliable and they most certainly aren't the litmus test for what is truth.  I felt like He had forgotten me.  I didn't even realize that was what I was feeling until Caleb reminded me He hadn't.  It's so hard to be all consumed with our feelings and not be able to see with clarity. 

The truth ... the absolute truth ... is He hadn't forgotten me.  I hadn't been left all alone.  He heard every prayer and as the bible says ... which is the litmus test for the truth ... He holds our tears in a bottle.  That's how precious each and every tear that falls from our eyes is to Him ...

"Thou numberest my wanderings: Put thou my tears into thy bottle; Are they not in thy book?" ~ Psalm 56:8

And here's the thing about God, just like with Caleb I don't have to pretend.  He wants me as I am ... the big, blubbering, angry mess I am.  And trying to "pretty it up" with God doesn't work.  He knows it all.

When we least expect it, He gives us a big swift kick in the rear.  That's what my phone call from Caleb was yesterday.  He knew I needed to be reminded of what was truth, and He also knows I don't always catch on to those gently reminders He gives He children ... sometimes I need a big swift kick in the rear!

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