16 Weeks

It's already Wednesday again.  The dreaded day of the week.  The day I have grown to hate.

Today marks 16 weeks.

She should be calling me right now.  She would be asking a million questions about how things went at the sleep center last night.  Then she would move on to wanting to know if I saw the news last night.  She would then want to know if my laundry is caught up and lecture me on how she would make the girls do this and that.  We would move from topic to topic, and before I knew it, we would be on the phone for 2 hours.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow", would be what she would say just before hanging up.

I never thought those would be the last words I would ever hear her say to me.

She's not going to be calling me today ... or tomorrow or any other day.

That's a hard fact to swallow.

My heart is still bleeding.  It still aches to the core of my being.  I still cry a lot.  I'm sad.  I'm angry.  I desperately wish she were here.  

But I can rest.  I can rest because I know she's with Jesus.

I keep seeing the sweet picture in my mind of our pastor carrying precious Averie up and down the aisles at church on Sunday singing, "Jesus Loves Me".  I just imagine that has to be what it's like for Jesus to carry us.  Hold us in His arms as He sings to us.

The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves.  He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” ~ Zephaniah 3:17