Why Have I Chosen to Blog?

For almost three years now I have bounced around the idea of blogging.  My oldest daughter actually made the comment one day, without knowing I was thinking about it, she was surprised I hadn't started a blog.  It's been a weighty decision.  One I've prayed about, knowing there are folks out there who seem to have made it their life's mission to go from blog to blog tearing people down.  I also know I have a tendency to be a little too open at times.  There are times I seriously lack a filter and those things that enter my head are out my mouth without even pausing.  Although there have been times I have dismissed the idea in my head, it still comes back.  I find myself thinking at times, this is one of those things I should blog.

I have been encouraged for years to keep a journal, but I never do.  After becoming sick I did develop a desire to do so, but my hand doesn't hold a pen well at times and it cramps up.  Typing is easier.  I  have often thought it would be a great way to not only share what amazing things the Lord Jesus is doing in my life, but it also would be a great way for me to go back and remind myself of those blessings.  Let's face it, I can throw some of the best pity parties you have ever seen.  I often forget how loving, merciful and mighty the Lord is working in my life.  Sometimes I can't see it.  I often need to be reminded.

But here the was deciding factor.  Three years ago one of my best friends sat down at her computer thinking there has to be someone else out there with my disease.  She googled CIDP and the first thing that popped up was Kristen's blog.   CIDP is considered to be a rare disease.  Kristen was diagnosed with it about 12 years prior to me.  One day the Lord laid it upon her heart to share her struggles with the disease through blogging.  After reading her blog for a few months, I made contact with Kristen.  We have emailed, Facebook and talked on the phone.  She has become a friend, one who identifies with my struggles in a way no one else in my life truly can.  She gets it.  She understands when I say my head boggles or it's hard to breathe.  She understands how hard it is to tolerate the heat.  She understands what if feels like to miss out on some many things in life because your are too weak to participate.  She understands what I mean when I say I'm in terrible pain, yet I'm numb... my legs and arms feel like they are on fire, yet they feel cold on the inside.  There is no greater comfort than to know someone truly "gets it" and can identify with our sufferings.  Because she chose to share her struggles, I don't feel so alone.  I have a friend I can call.

Thinking about Kristen's desire to share her journey, makes me think about Christ.  Although she can identify with me in a way no one else in my life can, Christ "gets it" even more.  He's experienced it all.  He suffered far greater than any of us.  Kristen and I were given this suffering, Christ chose His.  I can tell you this, I would not have chosen this disease.  I'm pretty certain I can say the same for Kristen.  But Christ chose to suffer for our sake.  That is just way beyond my comprehension.

My current bible study group is studying the book of Philippians.  A couple of weeks ago we got into a discussion about how Christ chose to suffer.  I said then, had He not, I would have a hard time trusting Him.  Yet because He did and God chose to share those sufferings in His Word, I now can know I am never alone in my hurt.

Who am I to chose not to share mine?  So, here I am... blogging.  Even beyond sharing my struggle with this insane disease, I want to share how the Lord has worked in my life.  I want folks to know what a hope we have in Jesus.  It is my desire and my prayer this blog is full of salt and that the Lord will use it for His glory.


p.s.  The format of this blog is a total mess right now, but I have someone who is helping me make it all pretty.  Hopefully, it will be finished in the next couple of weeks.