Saturday, May 19, 2012

She Was A Gift

I spent a lot of time last week perfecting a post about my mom for Mother's day, but I never completed it.  A family emergency has consumed not only my time, but even more so my emotions and energy.  I am completely wiped out.  Mother's Day ended up being a horrible day.  It being the first of many Mother's Days without my mom was difficult enough, but adding in the stress of a couple other events that happened over the weekend only made things worse ... much worse.

Our lives are forever changed.  Nothing stays the same.  Nothing is constant.  In Ecclesiastes 3 we are told that to everything there is a season.  Some seasons last longer than others.  Some seem to be never-ending, but eventually they do change.  Everything changes.  Everything.

But God.

"I know that whatever God does, It shall be forever. Nothing can be added to it, And nothing taken from it. " ~ Ecclesiastes 3:14

 I can rest in that.  I can rest in that because God is sovereign over all things.  He's in complete control when things change.  When chaos arises and we are so overwhelmed we don't know which way to go, He will lead us.  He's got it all under control.  He's already got it all figured out for us.  Romans 8:28 tells us that everything that happens to those that love Him is for their good.  It doesn't always feel good though.  Sometimes it seems as if your world is crumbling around you.  But no matter what happens in your life, even if you end up like Job and loose everything you have, it's for your good if you love Jesus.

"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." ~ Romans 8:28

And it's all for His glory.

I've lost sight of that this week, but just like His word tells us ...

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight." ~ Proverbs 3:5-6
When I think about my mom and all of the struggles she endured, I realize she knew this.  She knew it and she believed it with are her heart, mind and soul.  So many times I heard her say, "I could have never have done it without the Lord."

My mom left my abusive biological father when he was at work one night with 36 cents in her pocket and didn't know where we were going to go.   She managed to raise three kids while working two and three jobs at a time, and eventually graduated at the top of her class when she received her nursing degree.  She always made sure we never went hungry, had a roof over our heads and clothes on our backs.  When she didn't have the money to go to the laundry mat, she would wash our clothes by hand in the bathtub, and she always ironed them so they would look brand new.

After graduating nursing school and marrying my Dad (who by the way is a precious gift from the Lord Jesus to us), life got easier, but she didn't slow down working.  She taught us what it means to have a strong work ethic.  She would make us take turns cleaning the kitchen, and I would trade out cooking dinner with her.  At 13 we had to start doing our own laundry.  We had to help clean the entire house.  Once we got jobs we had to pay a household bill.  It was only $20-25.  At the time we bellyached.  We fussed and whined how unfair she was being, but when I married I knew how to cook and take care of a household.  I knew how to pay bills, and working hard was in my blood.

Anytime anyone would commend her on all she had accomplished, she would respond by saying, "I could have never done it without the Lord."  He always got the credit.

There is so much I could write about my mom, but the most important thing anyone needs to know is how much she loved Jesus.  She always knew that regardless of the circumstances, He would get her through.

"We're just going to have to trust the Lord, Robin."  She said this to me two days before she died.

She loved the Lord and she wanted everyone else to also.  So many people have told us what a witness she was to them.

A friend of mine wrote this on my Facebook wall on Mother's Day ...

"I am thinking of you today, Robin. I cannot know the pain you suffer over the loss of your mother, but I do know how very, very lucky you were to have such a wonderful mother who has left such an empty spot. To be given the gift of a loving, caring, supporting mother, even if for less time than you would like, is a blessing. You are loved by many, Robin."

What a gift my Mama was to me!!

I miss her more with each passing day.  I still visit her grave every day.  I think I've missed four days since she passed.  We often run into someone who is there visiting her grave also.  That speaks volumes to me.  People love her so much, she was so special to them, that they make it a point to visit her grave.

I love you, Mama.  You will always be special to me.

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