Monday, March 18, 2013

Go Call Your Mama

I had no idea that this time last year would be the final days of my mama's life.  Had I known, I would have done things differently.  I would have made sure I didn't hang up the phone without saying, "I love you", and I wouldn't have left her house without giving her a hug.  It still bothers me I didn't tell her I love her before hanging up that Tuesday afternoon.  It never once entered my mind it would be the last time I'd ever talk to her.  I had no idea it was my last chance to say those words to her.  After all, her last words to me were, "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Tomorrow came and she was gone.

I miss more than I could ever express in words.  It's an unexplainable void.  I think about her all the time.  She's a topic of conversation every day in our house.  Most of the time we are laughing about something she said or did.  I'm grateful for the memories she left us that bring us laughter.

We need the laughter because there are still lots of tears.  I cry every day still.  There are some days a girl just wants her mama, and this side of Heaven, I'll never have mine again.  I still pick up the phone to call her.  I find myself dialing her number and expecting her to pick up.  I often pray, "Lord, I just want my mama back."  It still seems so unreal at times.

Darryl reminded me last week, "You know she wouldn't come back even if she could.  She's with Jesus."

I know.  It's a selfish want.  And as much as I want her here with me, I wouldn't ask her to come back.

So, my daily prayer for the Lord to come quickly has become more intense over this past year.  I tell Nathan and the girls all the time I want the Lord to come and get us before any of us die, so we can all go to Heaven together.

If you still have your mama, call her today and tell her you love her.  If you live close enough to go see her, go visit.  I wish I could.  I wish my phone would ring between 12-2 this afternoon, and she would be on the other end asking what I was doing and do I have my laundry caught up yet.  I would have to tell her how piled up my laundry is right now.

This is a hard week for my family.  Please pray for us.  The pain is so raw.

And I'm serious, go call your mama and don't hang up without telling her you love her.

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