Monday, August 27, 2012

My Saviour, My Healer, My Redeemer Is Never Late

I am not a patient person.  Never have been.  Not even close.  Just ask Nathan.  I'll ask him to do something, and if he hasn't done it in, oh say within 2 minutes, I huff and get up and try to do it myself.  I hate having to sit in a waiting room at a doctor's office, or having to sit in an exam room waiting for the doctor.  If I order something and I'm told it will be here in 5-7 days, I expect it to be here on day 5.

Waiting frustrates me, and it often makes me anxious.  My mind always goes to the worst case scenario.  If Nathan is late getting home, I begin to think he's been in a terrible accident.  If the doctor is late coming into the exam room, he's trying to figure out the best way to give me horrible news.  If my order didn't arrive on day 5, then the purse I just had to have is sold out.

To say I'm not a fan of waiting is an understatement.  Patience isn't something I have a vast supply of.

Waiting is just a gift of time in disguise — a time to pray wrapped up in a ribbon of patience — because is the Lord ever late? ~ Ann Voskamp

I read this quote one day last week, and I've been mulling it over in my heart all weekend.

I admit, waiting on the Lord can be the most frustrating wait of all.  He has the power to do anything in an instant, and I don't always understand why He chooses not to.  I've been waiting for 4 1/2 years for Him to heal me of CIDP.  I know He can do it.  Actually, let me rephrase that.  I know He will do it, but He sure is taking His time in doing so.  In the meantime, I suffer with pain.  I tire easily, and I'm weak.  I live with the uncertainty of not knowing if I'll be able to walk tomorrow.  I know He will heal me, but I don't know if it will be this side of Heaven.  I want it to be now, at this very moment, but it may not happen until He calls me home.

I've never looked at waiting as a gift, but after chewing on this quote the past few days I can see it.

Yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary. ~ Isaiah 40:31

A time to pray.  Praying is exactly what we should be doing while we wait.  Regardless of what we are waiting for.  Although I'm suffering while I wait, some days more than others, I have a relationship with the Lord I never would have otherwise.  I rely more and more on Him.  I'm suffering, but He gives me the exact amount of grace I need to get through each and every moment.  He gives me the grace to do the next thing.

My soul, wait in silence for God only, For my hope is from Him. ~ Psalm 62:5
wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, And in His word do I hope. ~ Psalm 130:5

Yes, waiting is a gift in disguise.  The longer I wait, the longer I sit at the foot of the cross.  The longer I wait, I realize more and more my only hope is in Jesus.  The more I see He is my Saviour, my Healer, my Redeemer.

Just a couple of hours before reading this quote, I had prayed ...

Lord, where are You?  Every day I pray for You to come get us and take us home.  Why are You so late coming?

He's never late.  Although His timing isn't my preference in timing, He always shows up right on time.

As I try to patiently wait upon the Lord to return, I pray I see my waiting as the gift it truly is.  The gift of time to learn to love Him more.  The greater my love is for Him, the greater I will worship Him.

My Saviour, my Healer, my Redeemer.

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