366 Days of Gratefulness ~ Day 20

I don't use the word "friend" loosely.  Not everyone I know do I actually consider my friend.  I in no way mean that as an insult to anyone I know.  I just don't automatically trust everyone.  Some people will trust others until they prove themselves to be untrustworthy.  However, I don't trust anyone until they have proven themselves to be trustworthy.  I have a lot of walls built around my heart.  Not as many as I have in the past, but I still have a lot of them.  The past four years have shown me there are so many who truly are my friend, but I don't think I would have realized it had I not been forced by circumstances in my life to let some of those brick walls down.  I have had many opportunities to get to know those around me when I've needed someone to stay with me at home, stay with me in the hospital or depended on them for help in so many other ways.  Not only have I had the eye opening experience to having more friends than I knew I had, but I've been blessed to begin other friendships.

In order for a relationship with someone to be a true friendship, it can't be just one sided.  I can't just allow people to give and do for me, call them my friend and not be there for them when they need me.  I also have to prove myself trustworthy.  I can't expect what I'm not willing to do.

I deeply value trust.  There is no greater compliment someone can give you than to trust you.  It's a gift ... a fragile gift.  It should be handle with the utmost care.  I was reminded of this very thing today when I opened up an email from a friend.  She has asked me to pray about something and has asked me to not say anything to anyone.  I am going to admit I want to share this information with my closest friends and have them pray for her also, but I can't.  I have to keep her confidence.  How can I expect her to keep mine if I don't keep hers?  If I were to tell what she has asked me not to share, it would show my other friends I can't be trusted.  What she has asked me to pray about is huge, and I truly think she could use the support of her other friends right now.  She needs others to be praying.  It's not my call though.  I must keep her trust.

I am grateful she considers me to be her friend and she trusts me.  I am grateful the Lord reminded me how important it is to remain trustworthy, even when I think I know best.  I am grateful He has reminded me how fragile trust is, and  I am grateful He gives me the desire and the ability to be trustworthy.  I wouldn't be or even have the desire without His help.  It's not something I can do on my own.

This issue of trust has been heavy on my heart today for multiple reasons.  It's no coincidence the Lord had her send that email to me today and not another day.  I am so grateful I have people in my life I can truly trust.  I am even more grateful that above everyone else, I can trust the Lord.  As trustworthy as all of us desire and try to be, He is the only one Who is perfectly trustworthy ... that's why I can't be without His help.