Time To Break Out The Mask

Remember these ...

 

My friend Sarah brought them to me when she came home for a visit from Korea a few weeks ago.  I was told at my last visit with Dr. Gaw that I didn't have to wear a mask right now.  He just reminded me I needed to be careful.  I breathed a sigh of relief.  However, last week when my homehealth nurse came to visit she warned me about a nasty upper respiratory virus going around our town.  She said that so far they hadn't seen any confirmed cases of the flu, but due to the 2 weeks it takes for the vaccine to kick in, I needed to get it done a.s.a.p.  Getting the flu shot has been such an ordeal this year.  We tried to avoid having me go to a clinic so I wouldn't be exposed to anything and everything folks have.  My pharmacist agreed to come out to the van and give it to me, but I ended up just going inside on Sunday and for him to give it to me.  I don't think I've been around anyone who is sick, but I think maybe I should have worn the mask anyway though.

I cannot believe I just admitted that.

I am so sick!  I feel like I have the flu, but I am almost certain it's just a nasty upper respiratory infection.  My head is full of junk.  I have a horrible cough.  My ears and throat hurt.  I have a lymph node behind my ear that is the size of a quarter right now.  My head hurts ... my whole body aches.  I am just plain miserable.

Darryl started me on an antibiotic yesterday after I texted him a picture of the junk I'm coughing up.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I sent him a picture.  I thought a visual would be much better than trying to describe what it looked like.  All I got back was, "Do you have an antibiotic in the house?"  We try to keep one here for when things like this happen, but I didn't get the last one I took replaced.  About 10 minutes later I got a phone call from my pharmacy letting me know my prescription was ready to pick up.  I am really hoping it kicks in quickly.  I've had the pneumonia vaccine, but I'm sure it's not impossible to still get it.  I feel like someone is standing on my chest.  I am praying this doesn't settle in my lungs, and that it doesn't take me as long to get over this as it did the strep throat I had a few weeks ago.

It's not even Thanksgiving yet.  The flu season hasn't even hit yet and I've already had two whammies.  I hope this doesn't mean I have to stay shut-in this Winter.  I think I'm going to bring out the mask.

After all, Sarah did spend a lot of time and energy looking for pink ones for me.

A Pity Party Can Be So Easy To Throw

It's been a hard week.  Of course that always seems to happen when I've missed church on Sunday.  I was in so much pain and had so little energy last week I couldn't go.  It's been a very painful week.  The rain has been horrendous on my peripheral nerves.  Add in the cold days we've had and it puts my pain level between an 8-10 on that silly pain scale the nurses always want you to use to rate your pain.  Those numbers always confuse me.  I have two ratings ... tolerable and want to put my fist through a wall.  It never completely goes away.  Then they always want me to describe how it feels.  When I tell them it's like having electrical shocks, burning, being jabbed with ice picks, aching, cold on the inside, hot on the outside and yet I have places in my feet I can't even feel because the nerve endings are so damaged, they look at me like I'm nuts. (I realize my husband is going to read that last sentence and tell me I should have written it differently because it has way too many comas and is a run-on sentence.  I am at peace with it.)  I once told Dr. Peltier that she probably thought I was crazy when I described it to her.  She told me it was common for the pain to feel like that in CIDP patients.  As strange as it might sound, those words were actually comforting to me.  It's a reminder to me that I'm not the only one.  I'm not alone in this.

Speaking of Dr. Peltier, Vanderbilt finally got my appointment rescheduled.  It's for December 1.  I guess being put on the a.s.a.p. list will get you an appointment in less than six months.  It's actually quicker than I thought it would be.  I need to call and double check on it though.  They didn't call me.  Instead they mailed me an appointment card.  Strange.  After finding out when I got there the last time someone had scheduled me on the wrong day, I don't want to take any chances.  I am really hoping I feel like doing a little shopping ... and I have some money to shop.  My friend that's taking me loves to shop as much as I do.  We would get in a lot of trouble if I were able to shop like I could before getting sick.  Just another example of God's perfect timing and how He protects us.  Seriously.

I've spent the week having a huge pity party.  My list of reasons goes on for a country mile.  Some of the reasons are valid.  I am physically miserable.  I hate being at home alone so much.  I missed church this week.  And some of the reasons are not so valid.  My mind can take the slightest thing and can make this enormous issue out of it.  I can read so much into the smallest things.  My family doesn't clean the kitchen immediately after dinner, and I claim they don't care about me.  Actually, they just don't care if the kitchen gets clean.  I have a family member who will leave comments on photos and status updates on Facebook every other family member posts, but totally ignores me.  It must mean she hates me.  Maybe she is ignoring me or maybe she isn't, but why should I let it bother me?  I don't like Facebook anyway.  I would delete my account if I didn't need to "stalk" my children.  They claim I'm stalking them.  I call it monitoring what they are doing.  I feel like I'm being purposely forgotten and being left out of things.  When the reality is my friends know I've felt terrible this week and know I need to rest.  And yet I felt "bullied" into going to bible study Wednesday after telling my friend I didn't feel up to going.  Actually she was just trying to encourage me because she knew I would feel better just being with the group.  I felt ganged up on when I shared with them how sometimes I question if I'm really belong to Christ.  Once I got home I vowed to myself I would never go back.  That's not what they did at all, but it sure felt that way.  I can't please anyone.  I disappoint all of my family and friends.  I can't live up to their expectations.  etc., etc. etc.

I really just wish Jesus would come back to get us ... this very moment.

I have read on Facebook, you know that thing I dislike, where almost everyone is listing something they are thankful for each day of November.  I keep thinking to myself I should do that, but it's so much easier to just succumb to my pity party.

My daughter said something a couple of nights ago that has put me under conviction.  She is training to work with a lady who is homebound with multiple medical issues and unable to do anything for herself.  I was telling Sara that when she thinks she has it rough, she needs to think about what this lady is dealing with in her life.  My wise 16 year old looked at me and said, "You should too."

So I am going to spend today thinking on what the Lord has given me.  I going to mediate on those things I should be so thankful for, instead of continuing in the downward spiral of thinking my life is so terrible and nobody loves me.

I am going to focus on what I know to be truth and not listen to all the nonsense I've read into things.  And then I'm going to write them down so I can read over them when I allow myself to think otherwise.

Shower of Blessings

I have a friend who gave me a warning last week to be careful about overdoing it.  It was a valid warning.  She knows I have a tendency to do so and then pay for it for days.  My philosophy is this ... I never know when things might spiral downward.  I pray they never do so again.  However, CIDP by nature is very unpredictable.  I have missed out on so much for almost the past 4 years, and I just don't want to miss out anymore than I absolutely have to.  I would my rather have one or two ... or even a whole week on occasion ... of pure joy, than to live a life that's bland.  It's that time of year I have to be careful.  Right now viruses and the flu seem to be minimal, and I've been told I don't have to wear a mask.  I just have to be very careful.  So, if I'm not running a fever, I'm allowed to be out as long as I feel up to it.  You better believe I'm going to jump at each and every chance.  That's exactly what I did the other night.  I have been so tired the past couple of days, but it has been so worth it because ...

Look who I got to see on Friday night ...

 

Several us of gave Connie's daughter, Ashley, a bridal shower Friday night.  It was such a fun, sweet time.  I laughed harder than I have in a long time and got to spend the night with some of my closest friends.  As you can see I got a much needed hug.  It had been over a month since we had seen each other.  Way too long.

And the three of us got to be together for a few hours.

 

I wish we had been able to have one of our long lunches, but I'll take what time we can get together.

 

This is Ashley with her mom and her mother-in-law to be.  Barbie is so sweet ... and funny I might add.  She's one of those people that when you meet them it's seems like you've known them for years.  She says she has prayed for Ashley since the day Dave, her son, was born.  So precious!  When I was leaving and giving Connie and Ashley a hug, she walked up to me and said, "I know how special you are to them and that makes you special to me."  My eyes welled up with tears when she hugged me.

 

Ashley and the moms with Ash's sister, Hannah.

 

I love this photo!

Somehow I missed getting photos of a few ladies that were there, but here are some of them ...

 

 

 

 

 It was such a fun night, and I'm so thankful I was able to be there.  It was so great to be able to talk, laugh and just be together.

 

It as been such a joy to watch Ashley grow up and see how the Lord is working in life.  She has grown up to be such a precious, sweet young lady.  I am so happy for she and Dave.  I am praying the Lord will bless them as they grow old together.

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

I started my blog post yesterday about Robyn's birthday around 5:00 a.m. and had saved it to go take care of something before I finished it up.  Time got past me and I still hadn't had a chance to go back and post it before I got a phone call.

It's was Robyn.

I could tell by the tone of her voice something was up, so I asked her what was wrong.

"Ummm ... I don't really know how to tell you this."

"Just tell me."

"I'm pregnant."

"OH. MY. GOODNESS."

I didn't know if I should laugh or cry tears of joy.  So I just sat in awe for a moment.

This pregnancy was a complete surprise.  As I was finishing up my blog post yesterday I wanted so badly to shout to everyone that she was expecting miracle number three, but I couldn't just yet.  It is so hard to stay quite when you have news that just makes your heart dance.

She has now made her announcement to everyone and I'm now free to shout ... I would dance if I could.

Not everyone ever gets to experience a miracle, but Robyn is waiting to give birth to miracle number three.  Isn't it just like God to give us far more than we could ever imagine?

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us," ~ Ephesians 3:20

Robyn, guess what verse is going on your next baby quilt ... and I think it's going to be pink!  : )  Love you and I am so, so honored to have had a front row seat to what God has done in your life.  This was certainly a birthday you will never forget!